Ibrahim Gardner
The death of a friend is a difficult experience for anyone, but it can be especially challenging for university students, who may be navigating grief and loss away from their established support systems for the first time. University staff play a crucial role in supporting students through these complex and emotional processes, fostering a sense of community and connection while also respecting the privacy of the deceased student's family and any ongoing investigations. The death of a peer can evoke a range of emotions, and it is important that students are allowed to process their grief in their own ways, whether that be through talking to a friend or counsellor, engaging in hobbies, or giving themselves time and space.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Frequency of student deaths | Six or seven students die each year in an average university |
| University response | Official communication is released, investigation may be carried out by police, notifications are sent to those affected |
| Faculty and staff response | Focus on creating connection and shared support, use language consistent with official announcements, be mindful of privacy and ongoing investigations |
| Student response | May experience grief and seek support from friends, counselors, or other resources |
| Impact on families | Shock, despair, anger; universities work with families to navigate dynamics and provide support |
| Logistics | Informing and supporting the student's cohort, managing travel to the funeral, returning belongings, supporting flatmates, notifying funding bodies, working with the student's academic department |
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What You'll Learn
- The emotional process of supporting the deceased student's friends, family, partners, flatmates, and teammates
- How to communicate with the student's cohort and the language to use?
- The logistics of the student's funeral and returning their belongings to their family
- The student's funding and fees
- Supporting the academic staff following the loss of a student
The emotional process of supporting the deceased student's friends, family, partners, flatmates, and teammates
When a university student dies, it is an emotional and complex process to support those closest to the deceased. This includes the student's friends, family, partners, flatmates, and teammates, all of whom will be navigating their own unique grief.
For friends, partners, flatmates, and teammates, the university should foster a sense of connection and community. This can be done by creating safe spaces for students to grieve and providing access to counselling services or mental health support. It is important to communicate that seeking help is encouraged and that there is no shame in experiencing a range of emotions. The university should also be mindful of the language used in official communications, avoiding romanticising death or implying blame, especially in cases of suicide.
The university should also consider the logistics of supporting these individuals. This includes thinking about how to inform and support the student's cohort, managing travel arrangements for those wishing to attend the funeral, and deciding what to do with the student's belongings. It is important to work closely with the family to ensure their wishes are respected and to navigate any family dynamics that may be at play.
In addition to emotional support, there are practical considerations to keep in mind. For example, the university should notify the student's funding body to freeze loans and discuss any basis for a posthumous degree award. The student's marked coursework may also be returned to the family, and decisions will need to be made about whether it is appropriate for fellow students and staff to attend the funeral.
Supporting the friends, family, partners, flatmates, and teammates of a deceased student is a delicate and challenging process. Each case is unique, and universities must be prepared to adapt their response to meet the specific needs of those grieving.
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How to communicate with the student's cohort and the language to use
When a university student dies, it is important to communicate with the student cohort in a timely and sensitive manner. Here are some guidelines on how to do this effectively:
Communicating with the Student Cohort
- Wait for official university communication: Before reaching out to the student's cohort, wait for official guidance from the university. This helps prevent gossip and unnecessary distress among the student community. It also ensures that accurate and respectful information is shared.
- Use consistent language: When communicating with the student cohort, use language that aligns with the official university announcements. Respect the privacy of the deceased student's family and avoid sharing unnecessary details or speculating about the incident.
- Foster connection and support: Focus on creating a supportive environment for the student cohort. Acknowledge the impact of the loss and encourage students to seek help if needed. Offer resources such as counselling services or support groups.
- Be mindful of your role: Communicate your willingness to support the students while also recognizing your limits. You may not be able to serve as the primary resource for students' grief and emotional processing. Signpost students to appropriate support services within the university or externally.
Language to Use
- Choose words carefully: Be mindful of the language you use, especially if the death was by suicide. Avoid romanticizing death or using phrases like "they are at peace" or "they are in a better place." Such statements can be unhelpful for students struggling with their mental health or contemplating suicide.
- Avoid blame or anger: Do not use language that implies blame or anger towards the deceased student. While these feelings may arise in response to the loss, expressing them can be unproductive and harmful to students who are already grieving.
- Use inclusive language: Ensure your language includes all those affected by the loss, including friends, coursemates, flatmates, teammates, and partners. Recognize the diverse relationships within the student community.
- Offer practical information: Provide practical details such as funeral arrangements, support services available, and any changes to academic schedules or requirements. Share information about how students can access emotional support and grief resources.
- Encourage open communication: Create a safe space for students to express their emotions and share memories of their friend. Respect individual differences in processing grief and allow students to participate in memorial activities in their own ways.
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The logistics of the student's funeral and returning their belongings to their family
When a university student dies, the university must navigate the complexities of supporting those closest to the deceased, including friends, flatmates, and family. This involves managing the logistics of the funeral and the return of the student's belongings to their family.
Funeral Logistics
The university must consider how to support students wishing to travel to the student's hometown for the funeral. This may include helping to organise transport and providing guidance on funeral etiquette, especially if the funeral involves cultural customs unfamiliar to attendees. The university should also decide whether it is appropriate for staff and students to attend the funeral and, if so, how their attendance should be managed.
Returning Belongings
The student's belongings should be respectfully returned to their family. This process requires careful communication with the family, who may have specific requests or preferences regarding the handling of their loved one's possessions. The university should also consider the student's marked coursework and whether it should be returned to the family. In some cases, the family may wish to have the student's belongings shipped or transported to them if they are unable or unwilling to collect them in person.
Academic Considerations
In collaboration with the student's academic department, the university must determine how to handle the student's academic records and any posthumous degree awards. This includes notifying the student's funding body to freeze funding and write off student loans. The university may also need to consider any basis for refunding fees to the family, such as prepaid accommodation or tuition fees.
Emotional Support
Throughout this process, it is crucial to provide emotional support to those affected by the loss. This may involve offering counselling services, fostering community connections, and creating a supportive environment for students and staff to grieve and process their emotions. The university should also be mindful of the well-being of its staff members involved in managing these complex cases, ensuring they do not over-commit and are aware of their limits.
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The student's funding and fees
When a university student dies, the university must notify the student's funding body. The funding body will then freeze the student's funding and write off their student loans.
If a student has taken out a loan with a federal student loan program, their loan balance will be discharged upon death. This includes Parent PLUS loans. However, if a student has a private loan, their cosigner or spouse may be responsible for the remaining loan amount. In some cases, the loan balance may become immediately due. To avoid this, cosigner release can be requested, but not all lenders offer this option. Purchasing life insurance can also provide financial protection for a cosigner.
In the U.S., if a student is receiving Title IV aid, the school must determine the validity of the information before taking any further steps. Once the student's death has been confirmed, the school must obtain a death certificate and perform a Return to Title IV Funds (R2T4) calculation. Any remaining Title IV funds must be returned within 45 days. The school should then contact the student's estate to inform them of the actions they can take to have the student's Title IV loan debt cancelled.
The university may also consider refunding the deceased student's family for prepaid fees, such as accommodation or tuition fees.
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Supporting the academic staff following the loss of a student
Supporting academic staff following the loss of a student is a complex and fundamentally human case. Firstly, it is important to wait for official university communication before reaching out to or discussing the topic with students. This can prevent gossip and distress among the campus community. When speaking to students, use language that is consistent with the official announcements and respect the privacy of the deceased and their family.
It is also important to be sensitive to the fact that each student will be affected differently depending on their personal characteristics, cultural beliefs, family situation, and previous experiences. Students may exhibit common grief reactions such as decreased appetite, difficulty sleeping, increased sadness, and social withdrawal. It is recommended to be straightforward when discussing death and to avoid euphemisms such as "they are sleeping" or "they have passed away".
Educators can play a vital role in supporting students by promoting understanding, providing academic accommodations, helping them learn coping strategies, and minimizing distress. They should also be aware of their limits and not over-commit themselves as resources for students, as their own well-being is important.
In the specific case of a student's death by suicide, it is important to choose words carefully and avoid romanticizing death or implying blame on the victim. This is because reactions to death by suicide can include feelings of stigma, shame, and anger towards the deceased.
Finally, academic staff can benefit from support themselves. The American Psychological Association provides tools for dealing with grief, and some universities offer counseling services for their employees. Completing mental health training can also help staff recognize and support colleagues who may be struggling.
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Frequently asked questions
The death of a friend can have a profound emotional impact on a university student. They may experience feelings of grief, sadness, shock, and even anger. It is important for students to seek support and allow themselves time to process their emotions in healthy ways.
University students can seek support from counselling services, student services, and their academic departments. It is also common for students to find support in their friends, classmates, and other members of the university community.
A friend's death can significantly impact a student's academic performance. They may find it difficult to concentrate, fall behind on coursework, or even consider taking a leave of absence. It is important for universities to provide academic accommodations and support to students dealing with grief.
There are several healthy coping strategies that a university student can use to deal with a friend's death. Talking to a counsellor or a trusted friend, engaging in self-care practices, and participating in hobbies or activities that bring a sense of comfort can all be helpful. It is also important to allow oneself time and space to grieve and process the loss.
